Unlocking Your Unique Motivation

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
- Lou Holz

Introduction:

I think it’s fair to say that we all want a happy and fulfilling life. Sometimes you may feel happy and fulfilled in one or more areas, and sometimes you may feel as though everything is a struggle.

You may know what you need to do to have a happier and more fulfilling life, but when you are feeling overwhelmed, unhappy or experiencing life as a struggle, it can be difficult to find the motivation to do what you want to do or know you need to do.

Because each of us is unique, what motivates us is also unique to each of us. What motivates you may not motivate me. Our motivations are shaped by our experiences, values and goals.

It’s important to understand what motivates you, because you’ll want to tap into that motivation whenever you want to make any kind of change. And trying to motivate yourself in ways that work for others but not for you, will only lead to greater frustration.

The Nature of Motivation

Motivation is the driving force, or the energy, behind why you do what you do. It's the inner power that pushes you to act, whether it's getting up early for a morning jog or staying up late to complete a project.

It’s what enables you to say no when you are looking to eat in a healthier way, and someone offers you a piece of cake.

It’s what helps you go to the gym to work out even when you don’t really feel like it, because being fitter, stronger and healthier is important to you.

Understanding Personal Motivation

The reason motivation feels different for everyone lies in our individual stories and the meanings we attach to our goals. For some, motivation might be driven by external rewards, like money, recognition, or social status—often called extrinsic motivation. For others, it's about internal satisfaction or a deep desire to achieve personal goals, known as intrinsic motivation.

1. Intrinsic Motivation: This comes from within and drives you to do things for the sheer enjoyment or satisfaction you derive from them. For example, you might engage in painting, dancing or writing, because it allows you to express your creativity or you might play a sport because you love the challenge it presents.

   For example, I love to play tennis because it’s fun, it’s social and the way I play shows me how I’m feeling inside – if I’m overwhelmed or tired, I don’t play very well. When I feel grounded, balanced and energized, I play much better, which feels good.

2. Extrinsic Motivation: Extrinsic motivation refers to behavior that is driven by external rewards such as money, fame, grades, and praise, or avoid punishment or negative outcomes. This type of motivation arises from outside you, as opposed to intrinsic motivation, which originates comes from the inside, and gives personal satisfaction or a strong desire to perform an activity.

   One example of extrinsic motivation is working extra hours or putting in additional effort because you know it will lead to a bonus or a raise. Here, the motivation to work harder is not necessarily because the work is enjoyable, but because of the reward that comes from outside—more money.

Understanding which type tends to dominate your actions will help you tailor your goals to be more aligned with your natural inclinations, making it easier to stay motivated.

If money is what motivates you, go with that. If being of service motivates you, go with that. If being your best self is what motivates you, go with that.

Understanding What Motivates You

I am generally not motivated by external factors these days. So, for example, I have been to webinars where the presenter tells the participants that if they follow his/her methods they can have the same lifestyle as them. I’ve seen these presenters show pictures of their mansion on the beach, their high-performance cars, even their closets with rows and rows of shoes.

Many people are motivated by these things, and they will do anything to achieve them. Those things don’t motivate me. I would not participate in something just so I can have those things. They don’t inspire me, but they do motivate others.

Another popular form of motivation is “when you sign up for this program, you’ll receive thousands of dollars’ worth of bonuses.” The idea of lots of bonuses would not motivate me – in fact having all those bonuses might make me feel more overwhelmed than if they just offered the program itself.

That’s not to say it’s wrong to be motivated by external factors. If you have the goal of buying your dream home and it happens to be a mansion on the beach, then that is what’s going to motivate you to do everything you can to achieve that goal.

The important thing is to know what motivates you, because that will give you the energy you need to do whatever you need to do, and whatever changes you need to make.

The Spectrum of Motivation

Motivation isn't just about "why" you want to do something, but also "how much" you are driven to pursue particular goals and dreams – how important it is to you. This spectrum varies widely among individuals and can even change in the same person over time, depending on circumstances and evolving goals.

What was extremely important and highly motivating for you a year ago might not be so important now.

How to Discover What Motivates You

Finding what uniquely motivates you can be a very personal journey. Here are a few steps to guide you:

• Reflect on Past Successes: Think about times when you were highly motivated and successful. What were you doing? Why did it feel important? What made you successful?

• Identify Your Values: Understanding your core values will help align your goals with what truly matters to you. For instance, if independence is a core value, pursuing goals that enable you to be self-directed could be particularly motivating.

• Experiment with New Activities: Sometimes, we discover our greatest motivations through trial and error. Trying new things can uncover hidden passions and interests that ignite our motivation.

Strategies to Enhance Your Motivation

Once you understand what motivates you, the next step is to cultivate and maintain it. Here are some strategies:

• Set Clear Goals and Intentions: They should be specific and achievable, providing direction and a clear pathway to follow, which will enhance your motivation.

• Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your goals and dreams. This can include friends, family, or even a mentor. Sometimes friends and family are not the people who will encourage and support you though, and that’s okay. It’s important to find the people who will.

• Keep a Motivation Journal: Regularly writing down your motivations, challenges, and successes will provide insights into what drives you and how to keep those inner fires burning.

• Celebrate Small Wins: Every step forward is progress. Celebrating small victories will boost your morale and keep you motivated. Don’t underestimate the power of celebrating. Taking time to do this will add to your energy and motivation, and ability to do what you need to do.

• Set Yourself Up for Success: How can you set yourself up for success and make things easier on yourself? For example, I want to stay fit and healthy, and I also know that I may not always workout at home. So, I work with a trainer twice each week. Having those appointments set keeps me motivated. I don’t want to miss them, and the trainer consistently pushes me to do more than I would by myself. Without her I would find doing what I need to do to stay fit and healthy much more difficult.

The Emotional Connection

When your goals and intentions resonate with you emotionally, they become magnetic; they pull you towards them with less conscious effort.

This is why it’s so important and helpful to connect with your values (what’s most important to you) and your ‘why’ – why these things are important. The more positive emotion you feel about a goal or intention, the more motivated you will be to achieve it.

The emotional connection helps to transform goals and intentions from tasks on your to-do list, to activities you are passionate about.

One word of caution – it is important that your motivation is FOR YOU, rather than someone else. I have worked with several clients who wanted to achieve a certain level of success because they wanted to prove to someone (usually a parent) that they could do it, that they were good enough.

I can identify with this – I was a hyper-achiever early on in my life and I eventually realized this came out of a desire to receive some kind of acknowledgement or encouragement from my family. I eventually realized that not only was this never going to happen, but I really needed to do things for me. Instead of wanting acknowledgement from someone else, I had to acknowledge myself and give myself what I needed. That made all the difference.

It’s okay to want to accomplish something that will benefit someone else as well, but you want to make sure that you connect with YOUR why, with YOUR motivation.

Conclusion

There is no right or wrong way to be motivated. What matters is that your motivation aligns with your personal truth (your values, interests, and desires). By understanding and embracing what uniquely motivates you, you'll be on a path of self-discovery and personal fulfillment, rather than simply trying to achieve goals.

Consider and become clear on what motivates you and you will be able to harness your personal strengths and passions. In this way your journey will not only be successful, but also deeply rewarding.

Identify Your Core Values

If you're not clear on exactly what your core values are, take a look at this list and see if you can identify your top 5. Even if you've done this before, it's helpful to do it again.

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