Understanding and Controlling Your Inner Saboteurs

"Self-sabotage is when we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen."
- Alyce Cornyn-Selby

Introduction:

When was the last time you wanted to do something but then you talked yourself out of it? Why do you think that happened?

Most likely it’s because one of your inner saboteurs persuaded you that it wasn’t a good idea, perhaps that it was a waste of your time, or that you wouldn’t be able to do it.

Self-sabotage can happen frequently and in many ways. Perhaps you tend to sabotage your career, your business, your relationships, your health or finances. We often have self-defeating behaviors that stop us from doing or having what we really want.

Positive Intelligence (PQ) is a way of understanding how your mind is serving you and how it is sabotaging you. PQ identifies 10 saboteurs that reside in the ‘survival’ part of your brain, that cause you to act from fear.

An essential part of personal development is to learn how to control these saboteurs so that you can function more from the ‘sage’ or thriving part of your brain. This is the part of your brain that knows you can handle anything and will show you how.

How Saboteurs Affect Us

Our inner saboteurs function based on the beliefs and conditioning we have from our childhood. If you have a belief that you are not good enough, the saboteurs, through the survival part of your brain, will show you all the ways that you’re not good enough. It will judge and criticize things you do. It will make sure you hold yourself back because you’re not as good as other people.

This was a core belief for me – that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough, based on the messages I received growing up.

One of the ways it played out for me in my life is that I ended up working in places where the people were extremely smart – for example, I was assistant secretary to the Professor of Pharmacology. In this department I was surrounded by doctors, professors and Ph.D students. My inner saboteurs made me feel like an imposter, telling me that at any moment they would realize I wasn’t smart or good enough and I shouldn’t be there.

I actually was very good at my job and was acknowledged and treated very well, but my inner voice kept me living in fear that at any moment I would be ‘found out’ and they wouldn’t want me there.

Of course, now I can see how crazy that was, and I learned so much from that experience that I’m now grateful for. It is a perfect example of how our saboteurs affect us through fear.

Because these saboteurs operate in the shadows, typically without your awareness, they can have devastating effects – creating stress, anxiety and low self-esteem. They also get in the way of your professional growth and success by influencing your decision-making and how you handle relationships – including affecting how others see you and treat you.

Recognizing the Signs

Some of the signs that saboteurs are in action include:

• Procrastination

• Self-Doubt

• Perfectionism

• Stress

• Anxiety

• Frustration

• Avoidance

• Restlessness

• Fear of failure

• Too busy for what’s really important

• Not knowing what’s really important to you

• People-pleasing

All of these signs can be attributed to the action of one or more saboteurs.

Here are a few questions to help you identify where saboteurs may be impacting you:

• Think about a recent time when you felt disappointed in yourself or someone else. What was your internal dialogue like during this moment? Did it include harsh criticism or punitive thoughts? How did this dialogue make you feel afterward?

• When working on a task, how often do you find yourself unable to stop refining, making adjustments or finding faults with your work, even when others consider it complete or excellent? Does this tendency cause you stress or anxiety?

If you’re in any doubt about whether you have active saboteurs, let me share this example with you: a participant in one of my Inner Mastery programs took the program because she wanted to progress in her current career, which currently felt stagnant – here’s what she reported:

"Over the past weeks I have seen parts of myself I didn't realize existed and they shook me to my core. My focus has shifted way from trying to figure out my next career move to paying attention to myself.”

One other participant joined because she had felt stuck for many years, unable to make progress towards the life she really wanted. Here’s what she reported:

"I had a wonderful moment of clarity about fear. I have allowed fear way too much power over me in my life. It doesn't have to be that way. It's so obvious all of a sudden.”

The thing about inner saboteurs is that they operate without your awareness. Nothing can change until you begin to shine the spotlight on them and bring them into your awareness. Both of these participants were surprised to discover the strength and influence the fear-based mind had on them, and once they knew, were determined to change it.

Why We Need to Control Our Saboteurs

Not only is it possible to control our saboteurs, it’s crucial if you want to be the best you can be and achieve all that you want to achieve.

Not only will mastering your saboteurs improve your mental and emotional health, your relationships will improve, and so will your professional prospects, leading to sustained personal growth and greater fulfillment.

Why let your saboteurs continue to be in control when you don’t need to? They are not taking you in a direction you want to go, they are invested in keeping you right where you are – in survival mode.

Strategies to Control Saboteurs

As with making any significant change, controlling these saboteurs takes mindfulness and deep levels of self-awareness and being present. There are many practices and tools to help you become more present and mindful and to increase your self-awareness.

The key is consistency. Change is something you have to commit to and be willing to challenge and change thoughts, behaviors and reactions so you can weaken the saboteur’s influence.

I highly recommend the book: Positive Intelligence, by Shirzad Chamine, which shares evidence-based information about each of the saboteurs and how to access your ‘sage’ brain, and lessen the influence of your survivor brain.

I’ll be presenting a 2-hour masterclass: Unmasking Saboteurs: Break Free From Inner Obstacles to Success to explore the top 3 saboteurs in detail, so you learn where and how they affect you and what to do about them. This is based on training I have taken on Positive Intelligence with Shirzad, and you’ll have the opportunity for hands-on exploration these saboteurs’ influence. Learn all about the Masterclass here and registration here – there are 2 dates to choose from.

I have worked on my inner saboteurs for several years, and have made great progress, but because these saboteurs are so deeply ingrained in us, what I have learned from Positive Intelligence has helped me make even more transformation – this is really valuable information.

Conclusion

Recognizing the internal voices and external influences that hold you back is the first step to overcoming them. These saboteurs can manifest as self-doubt, procrastination, or negativity from yourself or others.

By learning how to identify your saboteurs, you’ll develop targeted strategies to combat them, ensuring they no longer get in the way of your growth or success.

Take a moment to reflect on how saboteurs are active in your own life. Which ones appear most frequently? How do they impact your decisions and feelings?

Most importantly - commit to change: What is one small step you can take today to challenge these saboteurs? Remember, small daily actions lead to substantial transformations over time.

Join the Masterclass

If you are ready to dive deeper and transform your life? Join our upcoming masterclass to explore effective techniques for overcoming your saboteurs. You’ll gain valuable insights and practical tools to master the saboteurs that affect you. Don’t let your saboteurs dictate your future—take control now so you can move forward with confidence.

I guide you to clarity, breakthroughs and practical solutions that lead to the positive change you want. Real solutions, real results. Start with a free Personal Energy Assessment, and see what's possible for you.