Difficult People at Work: The CBC Way to Protect Your Energy (Without Escalating Conflict)

Some days it isn’t the workload that drains you—it’s the relational friction around it. A teammate talks over people. A manager drops last-minute requests. A client pushes past agreed scope. If you’re sensitive and conscientious, you feel these disruptions deeply. It’s not because you’re weak; it’s because your system processes more data, more deeply. The good news: you can protect your energy and improve outcomes—without fighting, fixing, or fawning.

I teach a simple structure for moments like these: Clarify · Boundary · Consequence (CBC). It keeps you steady, specific, and kind.

Why “difficult people” language can backfire

Labeling a person as difficult often fuels reactivity—for them and for you. We can stay compassionate and still address difficult behaviors. When you work at the level of behavior and impact, you remain in your power.

60-second reset before any hard conversation:

• Feel your feet.

• One longer exhale (in 4, out 6).

• Hand to heart. Whisper: “I choose clarity and calm.”

Step 1 — Clarify

Describe what happened and how it impacts the work, using neutral, observable language.

Examples:

• “Two agenda items were left unresolved, so we don’t have owners or dates.”

• “We agreed on two review rounds; today’s file includes changes outside that scope.”

Avoid: labels, motives, or history lessons. Aim for: one or two factual sentences.

Mini-script:

“Yesterday we extended the meeting by 20 minutes for side conversations. We left without owners or dates.”

Step 2 — Boundary

A boundary is what you will do to stay aligned with healthy workflow and respect. It’s not a punishment; it’s a container.

Examples:

• “I’ll pause and bring us back to the agenda when we veer off.”

• “I’ll incorporate changes from the two agreed rounds; new items can go into a phase-two list.”

Notice the I statements. You’re naming your behavioral commitment, not trying to control others.

Mini-script:

“Going forward, I’ll pause us to return to the agenda so we can finish on time.”

Step 3 — Consequence

A consequence is the predictable next step you’ll take if the pattern continues. Keep it practical and proportionate. Follow through.

Examples:

• Time: “If we’re still over at :45, I’ll step out to honor my next commitment and request action items by email.”

• Scope: “If additional changes arise, I’ll add them to phase two and send a revised timeline.”

Mini-script:

“If we still run over, I’ll leave at :45 and ask for next steps by email.”

Nervous-system tips that change everything

• Exhale before you speak. Your tone will carry your boundary better than your words.

• Sit back 1 inch. Signals steadiness, not threat.

• One sentence per step. Clarity serves everyone.

Common pitfalls (and gentler choices)

• Pitfall: Arguing about intentions.

Choice: Return to facts and impact.

• Pitfall: Over-explaining.

Choice: Short sentences; pauses.

• Pitfall: Waiting until you explode.

Choice: Name the pattern early—kindly.

A quick CBC worksheet you can copy into notes

1. Clarify: (What happened? What’s the impact?)

2. Boundary: (What will I do differently?)

3. Consequence: (What predictable next step will I take?)

Resource touch

If you’d like a practical one-pager with prompts and examples, DM me for “Dealing with Difficult People at Work.”

Explore foundational energy tools in my books: https://lindabinns.com/books

Next step

Practice CBC with supportive peers in my Free Harmony Inside & Out community:

https://lindabinns.app.clientclub.net/communities/groups/harmony-inside-and-out