Decide Once (Gently): The Tiny Life Advice that Lowers Friction

Most pressure comes from micro-decisions: “Should I keep working?” “Do I answer now?” “Is this good enough yet?” A compassionate solution is to decide once—choose a kind default in advance and let it carry you when willpower is tired.

Why it works for sensitive, high-achieving nervous systems

• It reduces decision fatigue (your energy goes to what matters).

• It turns self-care into structure (less guilt, more follow-through).

• It builds self-trust (you keep promises to yourself).

Examples of gentle defaults

• Evening cutoff: “Laptop closed at 7:00 p.m.—no perfect endings required.”

• Boundary script: “I can give this my full attention tomorrow morning.”

• Focus lane: “One tab only when writing.”

• Good-enough rule: “80% quality ships; polish later if needed.”

• Recovery cue: “If shoulders tense, take 3 slow breaths before replying.”

How to create yours (quick flow)

1. Name the pinch point. Where do you overthink? (End of day? Email? Saying yes?)

2. Write one sentence. Clear, kind, doable.

3. Anchor it. Put it where you’ll see it (sticky note, calendar alert, desk object).

4. Practice relief. When the moment arrives, follow the default and notice the exhale.

This approach pairs well with my PDF, “7 Steps to Creating a Different Experience.” It helps you shift from over-efforting to aligned action with small, compassionate moves.

When you remove micro-friction, energy returns. Start with one gentle default and let the ease compound.

→ To get the PDF “7 Steps to Creating a Different Experience,” DM me “STEPS.” I’ll send it personally with next steps.

Resources mentioned: “7 Steps to Creating a Different Experience” (DM “STEPS” for the PDF). For more of my writing, see the Books page (link below).