Stop Taking Things Personally: A 4R Curiosity Pause to Reclaim Your Energy

Intro (why this matters):

When something lands “personally,” energy narrows: thoughts speed up, breath turns fast and shallow, and old stories rush in. This short practice helps you expand again—so you respond from center, not from a spike of emotion.

The 4R Curiosity Pause

1) Recognize (name what’s happening)

• Quietly note: “A trigger is here.”

• Body check: shoulders, jaw, belly; notice if the breath is fast and shallow.

2) Reset (regulate first, then think)

• Three slow breaths with a slightly longer exhale.

• Drop shoulders; soften gaze; feel your feet on the floor.

3) Reframe (widen the lens)

Ask:

• What else could be true besides my first story?

• What do I actually know for sure?

• What would support me right now—clarity, a boundary, or letting go?

4) Respond (one clear step)

Choose one:

• Clarify: “I want to be sure I understood—could you clarify what you need by Friday?”

• Boundary: “I can do X by noon; Y would require next week.”

• Release: If it’s not yours to carry, let it pass.

Why this works

Taking things personally fuses identity with the moment. The 4Rs create a brief space—enough for the nervous system to downshift and for your true choice to appear.

Resource touch

This article is inspired by my PDF “Taking Things Personally.” DM me if you’d like a copy and I’ll send it to you directly.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” — Eckhart Tolle

If you want help applying the 4Rs to a specific situation, schedule a Complimentary 30-Minute Breakthrough Session:

https://calendly.com/linda-85/complimentary-breakthrough-coaching-session